It's Never As Bad As You Think
06/13/2008
For just a split second after your exposed gut knocked a half-filled can of Natural Ice onto your grime-encrusted Gateway keyboard while reaching for your freshly-microwaved Swanson Salisbury Steak Hungry Man dinner, the corner of your eye caught the cobalt reflection of your bloated, stubbly, sunburned face on your 17" CRT monitor and you felt like the world's most p ... Read More
Posted in World Wide Web, Entertainment | Permalink
Passive-Aggressive Anger Management
06/11/2008
Need to blow off a little steam? Look for the closest Passive Aggressive Anger Release Machine. For pocket change you can grind porcelain kitty cats into fine powder and smash baroque-styled figurines into bits. Throwing a plate across the room is probably more satisfying, but this civilized invention by artists Yarisal & Kublitz will surely help you exorcise ag ... Read More
Posted in Entertainment | Permalink
The Tiger Ate My Pom-Pom
06/05/2008
When the monsoon season comes to an end, Indian cheerleading squads celebrate the return of dry weather with ebullient trips to the local zoo. It's best described as Thriller meets Showgirls in the Garden of Eden. And it freaks the poop out of every animal there. Read More
Posted in Music, Entertainment | Permalink
Bestiality And The City
05/30/2008
Even if you aren't going to make it out to see Sex and the City The Movie Part 1, we highly suggest visiting Sarah Jessica Parker Looks Like A Horse. Somebody get her a Cosmo to go with that oat bag. Read More
Posted in TV/Film, Entertainment | Permalink
Tom Cruise: Behind The Glasses
05/07/2008
We're all familiar with Tom Cruise. Hell, we've probably watched Far and Away at least twice. But who is T.C. the man? Is he a mere mortal, or a thetan—that's an immortal spiritual being for all you non-believer non-Scientologists—who posses an incredible amount of poise and grace on the big screen? We might never know. But what we do know right now is that T.C. h ... Read More
Posted in World Wide Web, Entertainment | Permalink
Soon-to-Be Divorcee Finds YouTube Cathartic
04/16/2008
Internet meet Tricia Walsh-Smith, current wife of Broadway mogul Philip Smith. This crazy beach is in the middle of a nasty divorce and she is not going to take Philip's crap lying down. Making a YouTube video always seems like a great idea after a fifth of Belvedere and a fistful of Xanies. "What about the con-domes Philip? What about the con-domes?" Read More
Posted in World Wide Web, Entertainment | Permalink
The Best Rap Battles Are On Cable Access
04/14/2008
For real. Detroit has long been a proving ground for up-and-coming hip hop artists. Eli "Class of '05" Porter and Envy are two young hopefuls out to prove their skills on Iron Mic, the Holy Grail of hip hoptasticness. Whoomp there it is! Read More
Posted in Music, Entertainment | Permalink
Chuck Norris Cheats Death For Record Millionth Time
04/09/2008
Actor Chuck Norris bamboozled the Grim Reaper yet again yesterday when a teacher discovered Norris' name on the hit list of a 16-year-old Pennsauken High School student. Norris was listed along with three students and a school staff member. All we can say—and we're pretty confident you'll agree with our sentiment—is, "dude, what in the sh*t were you thinking?" Do ... Read More
Posted in News, Entertainment | Permalink
Gun Control Lobby Removes Rifle From Heston's Cold Dead Hands
04/07/2008
James Brady and fellow gun control proponents won a major victory on Sunday when they were finally able to wrest away Charlton Heston's symbolic rifle upon his death. Heston, who suffered from Alzheimer's disease, had been maintaining a "kung-fu death grip" on the weapon since the NRA's 2000 convention. The fate of the Second Amendment is up in the air... Read More
Posted in Politics, TV/Film, News, Entertainment | Permalink
Inevitable Exploding Plastic
03/18/2008
Pipedream Products has sold over 100,000 celebrity blow-up dolls using the likenesses of J-Lo, Tori Spelling, and Jessica Simpson (among others) since they made them available to the public. For as little as $26.99, you can indulge in a night of unbridled passion with inflatable celebrity doppelgangers like J-Ho, Eva Longwhoria, or Sarah Jessica Porkher. Synthetic l ... Read More
Posted in General, Entertainment | Permalink
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