Gargamel To Grace Big Screen One Last Time In New Smurfs Movie
02/18/2008
La-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la. Hollywood's most talented computer animation artists are hard at work over in France creating the new Smurfs movie. This story is straight to you from us from mushroomvillage.com, formally known as pedophelia.com. We can't not wait, and that's pretty much all we have to say about that. Oh yeah, we hope Smashmouth is doing the soundt ... Read More
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My Really Bloody Valentine
02/14/2008
Are you feeling lonely this Valentine's Day? Well, guess what, it's way better than being dead. Just ask the kids of Valentines Bluff, the setting of the great 1981 Canadian slasher film My Bloody Valentine. (Yes, the late 80's Shoegaze band derived their name from the title). The craaaaazy plot goes like this: "It is the first Valentine's Day party in 20 years, be ... Read More
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Fat Kid Steals The Role of Knight Rider's K.I.T.T. from Arrested Development's Will Arnett
02/07/2008
A man resembling what once was Val Kilmer, now looking more like Francis Buxton in the photo above, has used his not-so-slim jim to steal the role of K.I.T.T. in the new Knight Rider TV Movie/Pilot from Arrested Development's Will Arnett. Ok, so due to our disappointment we were forced to embellish the truth. Apparently Will Arnett, who originally intended to voi ... Read More
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Sexman Gives "Rambo" Five Star Review
01/30/2008
Sexman went to see Rambo last Friday and he's pretty satisfied. In Sexman's own words, "it's been a damn long time since I saw a movie that made me on the edge of my seat." It's also somewhat of a rarity that Sexman gets into an R-rated movie. Sexman does want to make sure that his audience is aware that Rambo is pretty violent. A lot of heads "get blown off" and this ... Read More
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Fox News vs. Montel Williams On Heath Ledger's Death
01/28/2008
Montel Williams and Montel Williams' goatee appeared on Fox News Saturday morning to talk about Heath Ledger's recent death from the standpoint of "someone who knows how it can be under the glare of the celebrity microscope." 'Cept Montel Williams' goatee didn't wanna talk about Heath Ledger's death from the standpoint of "someone who knows how it can be under the gla ... Read More
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Jean Claude Van Damme Just Wants to Dance! (In His One-Piece)
01/28/2008
Take a look at JCVD wishing he could get into the mix during a pivotal scene in the greatest film ever made, Breakin' (approx. 1:58 and 2:57): Now, we might not be break-dancing experts but we're pretty sure that it was the Tony-Little one-piece that disqualified him. Let's give him another shot, shall we? Nope. Throwing a pair of white chinos over ... Read More
Posted in TV/Film, Entertainment | Permalink
Westboro Baptist Church To Picket Heath Ledger's Funeral
01/24/2008
Yup. It's these guys again. The homosexual-hating Westboro Baptist Church is taking a break from protesting dead soldiers' funerals to protest late actor Heath Ledger's service. The church believes Ledger is currently burning in hell for his Oscar-nominated portrayal of a gay cowboy in 2005's Brokeback Mountain. We're just curious as to why all of their protest signs ... Read More
Posted in TV/Film, News | Permalink
The Movie Poster For Machete is Amazing - Now Where is the Movie?
01/23/2008
Ever since we saw the faux-trailer for the Danny Trejo "Mexploitation" film Machete preceding the underrated gross-out/stalker fest Grindhouse, we've been praying that Robert Rodriguez would turn it into a full-length. Go ahead, witness the pure awesomeness that is Machete (again and again if need be): Some say Rodriguez is already working on it and it's gonna ... Read More
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Alvin and Gordon from "Ninja: Silent Assassin" Win Ninja Fashion Award
01/22/2008
There are a whole lot of stereotypes floating around that great big world outside of our windows and today we would like to address one of them: ninjas do not have to dress in black. Before you totally freak out and try to pick a fight with us, watch the clip below from 1987's Ninja: Silent Assassins and ruminate on the issue for a few minutes. Why shouldn't a ninja b ... Read More
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"Shrooms" The Movie—Will It Suck?
01/18/2008
Well, it may not be as good as Howards End or Unaccompanied Minors, but Shrooms promises to be something that you have to pay ten bucks for if you want to see it in the theater. Unfortunately, we think this film will probably live in limbo between awesomely bad and boring. Oh well. We can't wait for The Asylum's remake. Read More
