Chuck Norris Cheats Death For Record Millionth Time
04/09/2008
Actor Chuck Norris bamboozled the Grim Reaper yet again yesterday when a teacher discovered Norris' name on the hit list of a 16-year-old Pennsauken High School student. Norris was listed along with three students and a school staff member. All we can say—and we're pretty confident you'll agree with our sentiment—is, "dude, what in the sh*t were you thinking?" Do you have cable television? Do you know what a VHS tape is? Seriously, as soon as you make bail, ride your BMX over to Hollywood Video and rent the following list of movies:
Way of the Dragon
The Student Teachers
Slaughter in San Francisco
The Warrior Within
Bruce Lee, the Legend
Breaker! Breaker!
Good Guys Wear Black
A Force of One
The Octagon
An Eye for an Eye
Silent Rage
Forced Vengeance
Lone Wolf McQuade
Missing in Action
Missing in Action 2: The Beginning
Code of Silence
Invasion U.S.A.
The Delta Force
Firewalker
Braddock: Missing in Action III
Hero and the Terror
Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection
The Hitman
Sidekicks
Hellbound
Top DogForest Warrior
Also, please watch all eight seasons of Walker, Texas Ranger.
Do you still think you can knock off Chuck g' damn Norris? We're kinda surprised he didn't drop kick you in the throat straight from Hollywood but we heard he's been pretty depressed since Mike Huckabee dropped out of the race.
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