From the Waists of Wasted Waifs comes the LED Belt Buckle
07/25/2005
LED stands for Light Emitting Diode, the same diodes you've seen doing their thing everywhere from power strips to scoreboards to taillights. And now they're on belt buckles of all places. You can have your very own squadron of LEDs scrolling out "Jimmy Rules" or "Semper Fi" like a personal pelvic stock ticker. That's right, we've now arrived in a future that Wired and Newsweek have been promising--technology you can wear! The problem is that this trend is completely stillborn. In amonth's time we've seen these things everywhere from MTV to the Fader to the mall to the founder of PayPal, to the gift shop at the Mattress Factory, an installation museum in Pittsburgh where they go for $35 a piece and the girl in the shop told us that the real cool guys get them in white and blue, not red and yellow, because those LED colors haven't been around as long. (We remembered similar claims about those Hypercolor t-shirts, and swooned with junior high deja vu.) Even this 20 year-old Pittsburgh ingÈnue wasn't sure whether she really wanted
to participate in this whole "ghetto fabulous" LED belt buckle trend, or simply observe them removed, with a Vulture-like dispassion. We pronounce this trend stillborn, Dead On Arrival. The market reacted too quickly to the first whiff of demand and nipped this sucker in the bud. So a note to all the Chinese LED manufacturers and Canal Street importers out there: Please wait twelve weeks before reading your next Fader. Give us time to discover and savor the marvelous crap you send our way. But keep too close an eye on our tastes and they'll change before you've finished unloading the goods from the boat.



