Swedish Dwarf Crime Epidemic Dwarves Other Swedish Crime Epidemics
02/21/2008
"Are you talkin' to me? I will fu*k you with my ax!"
Despite a strict three-strikes policy on dwarf crime, Sweden has found itself in the midst of a dwarf crime pandemic. As reported in the Telegraph, criminal organizations have been using little people to plunder stowed baggage on long-distance coaches. Dwarves are packed inside of suitcases and then loaded onto buses with legitimate passenger luggage. After the buses have begun to move, the miniature stowaways free themselves and proceed to pillage from surrounding baggage. Once their larcenous task has been completed, the sticky-fingered dwarves zip themselves up and are removed at the next stop by their full-sized accomplices.
In a statement released Wednesday, Swedish officials addressed the rising instances of dwarf crime saying, "Being a dwarf is a growing problem and dwarf crime is a growing problem. How can we separate the two? We need to tackle the source of the problem. If we figure out why dwarves aren't growing, we can make them bigger. If we make them bigger, they won't fit in suitcases anymore and we'll likely see a decrease in this type of dwarf crime."
Posted in News | Permalink
- Post To:
Digg
del.icio.us
Send to Friend
