Obese Man Tips Scales Of Justice
05/02/2008
The New York Supreme Court held session in a parking lot outside of the courthouse on Tuesday in order to accommodate an unusually large defendant. Weighing in at over 500 pounds, a music shop owner accused of selling counterfeit guitars was arraigned from the back of a pickup truck because he couldn't physically get into the courtroom. Bail was set at 1,000 pizzas. Read More
Posted in News | Permalink
The Colossal Squid Thaw
05/01/2008
In January of 2007, fisherman off the coast of Antarctica hauled in a barely alive, 1000-pound Colossal Squid. The 25-foot long squid is the largest specimen ever to cross paths with humans, though apparently these suckers can grow to a length of over 45 feet. Since its scientific appropriation at the Te Papa Institute in New Zealand, the beast has been preserved on ... Read More
Posted in Science/Technology | Permalink
Heated Lesbian v. Lesbian Action In Greek Court
05/01/2008
Inhabitants of the Greek island Lesbos, known as Lesbians, are taking the Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece to court for their use of the term "lesbian." It seems Lesbians are getting sick and tired of being mistaken for lesbians, and they will stop at nothing to stop lesbians from calling themselves lesbian. Lesbian Dimitris Lambrou, one of the plaintiffs ... Read More
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Wormwood Doesn't Make You Hallucinate - It Just Gets You Drunk
04/30/2008
Or so say the findings of a team of German scientists with their recent paper in the Journal of Agriculture and Food Chemistry. The green, anise-flavored liquor previously thought to be hallucinogenic turns out to simply be a stiff drink. It's back to the drawing tables for Marilyn Manson! His Mansinthe absinthe can't really be as gothically potent as he claims but if ... Read More
Posted in Science/Technology, Food | Permalink
FIBA Ends 75-Year Relationship With Trapezoid, Admits to Falling In Love With Rectangle
04/30/2008
What? What's a trapezoid? What's a rectangle? If you're asking yourself those questions right now, you're not alone. Hundreds of NBA players are also preoccupied with polygons after the International Basketball Federation—that's FIBA—announced it would replace its trademark trapezoidal key with the NBA's rectangular key in 2010. Read More
Posted in Sport/Games | Permalink
The Billy Letters
04/29/2008
Back in the late 90s, pop-culture historian Bill Geerhart decided to write letters to a whole slew of famous and infamous people posing as a ten-year-old boy named Billy. Some of the responses are downright hilarious. Incarcerated rapist/serial killer Richard Ramirez wants Billy to "send some girls in bikinis," while Larry Flynt tells Billy he will indeed have to wait ... Read More
Posted in General | Permalink
It's Time To Lay Off The Roids
04/26/2008
When your friend at the gym starts to do sh*t like this, you should probably stage an intervention. Oh yeah! Read More
Posted in Sport/Games | Permalink
Dick Cheney's Plane Blows Too
04/24/2008
No everyone, Air Force Two is NOT the sequel to Air Force One. It also doesn't have an escape pod hidden inside of its belly (pretty much everyone likes Harrison Ford more than Dick Cheney). Anyway, recently some yocal news media persons were told by the Air Force that standing so close to Air Force Two during takeoff was a bad idea... what the heck does the Air Force ... Read More
Posted in Politics | Permalink
Penis Theft On The Rise In Congo
04/23/2008
Boys, if you're heading to Congo's capital city anytime soon, make sure you leave your boy parts someplace safe until you return. Penis theft and shrinkage is on the rise in Kinshasa, and there's no guarantee that your most private of organs will make it back to penis-friendly territory unscathed, or even worse, at all. Our advice to those guys that are worried about ... Read More
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A Clock That Spells Time
04/23/2008
A cool concept clock from Dutch designer Christiaan Postma. This Christiaan character mounted about 150 individual clocks onto a 4.5-foot-square panel in such a manner that the seemingly randomly arranged hour and minute hands spell out the appropriate hour at a given time. Wow. Pretty cool Christiaan! Hope you didn't spend all of your time working on this. Read More
